Archives for the month of: August, 2011


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Namaste / Good Tidings
Cordell Klier


sorta.. but also everywhere too..

Here is an excerpt from my forth-coming book:
“We.” By Cordell Klier

Hope you enjoy the passage. 🙂


“we start out our lives being controlled by our emotions.
..being controlled by others.
we quickly find this doesn’t work.

we begin slowly to take back our power.
this causes a disruption, and many obstacles.
we are either offensive or defensive.
often considered to be rebellious.
we quickly realize how this doesn’t work either.

we consider isolation and withdrawal in order to escape.
being alone offers us a sense of freedom, until we get lonely.
we quickly realize this also isn’t going to work.

we witness others living and thriving.
either thru jealousy or resignation, we re-enter the world.
..ego still perched on the look-out for what it must have and have now.
so we begin a study of things from where and how we are.
a labyrinth appears.
we get lost, confront the minotaur of personalities; our own and others.
we want to make this work.. we have to, so we forge onward.
until we are finally crushed by the weight of our lack of self-acceptance and frustration.
we then turn to the sky and ask, “what am I doing wrong, please someone help me.”
we cry the hardest of cries.
in silence we wait.. but, feeling slightly more at ease.

we stand back up, give up trying to make it work, and like magic we exit the maze as if we had a map.
even the minotaur assist us out of pity.
we recognize the chess-game we’ve accidentally entered.
..suddenly respecting the floor plan and the time-based opponent.
we respectfully end the game and bow out.

we move on, and head into research.
this leads to much dogma, coercion, bewilderment.
yet we try on many hats.
many of them fit strangely.
many more of them fit uncomfortably.
we realize this isn’t going to work either.. but this time we take what we’ve learned
… and artistically weave together our own hat out of the scraps of other ideas; other hats.

we enter back into the world feeling nervous, slightly odd, unconventional, and seemingly unique.
we re-enter this world kind of showing ourselves.
some respect this and admire this.
others find us distasteful and stupid.
yet this time around, we don’t mind their opinions, nor react to their opinions.
this slightly starts to work.. but there is still a block to many things.

over time we again look to the sky, and this time also the ground..
“what am I doing wrong? please, I beg you, whomever is listening, please help me..”
… we think to ourselves, “how do I know to ask this question, how odd to talk with something or someone I’ve not met, nor even know to exist?”
…”where is this voice coming from in my head enough to talk to myself? I have no ears or mouth in my mind??”
suddenly we witness that we have an “inside” self.
we feel less alone now.
with great joy how we begin to see this world begin to clarify greatly and quickly..
“perception is the key”, we begin to understand.
we reformulate our objectives and question our motivations.
things outside of us begin to ease up.
we feel strengthened and almost secure.
this gives us confidence.
we start trying new things, maybe even move somewhere else.
start over & begin a-new, as if being reborn.
this feels wonderful, …until, we realize that we take ourselves with us where ever we go.
this gets discouraging.
..but things are still slightly working out.

out of curiosity, instead of desperation this time, we ask the sky, the ground, and our inside voice, “am I missing something? why is this only half working?”
then, we get quiet to hear within ourselves.
just like the silence we entered when we asked out of desperation the first time.
the inner voice and voices chatter on, but no suitable answer is uncovered..
yet!.. ..when it finally shuts up something unique occurs..
within that silence we get a glimpse of something, something amazing & wholesome.
we really want and like this wholesomeness.
the ego wants to explore this as well, but is frightened of what it might mean, because that wholesomeness requires us to do nothing but simply be and enjoy being.
this is confusing, but overall exciting.
so we sit quietly again until the brain-chatter finally gets our of the way – and there it is again!
we stand up and jump for joy… even go and tell our half-friends about it.
some believe us. something think we are full of nonsense.
we question whether this really happened, so we try again.
our confusion and lack of trust makes it hard to get there again, ..we begin to place that feeling as a ‘place’ somewhere outside of us.
thankfully even in our lack of understanding of what this wholesomeness is, we get a few more glimpses.
“it is real! it is exquisite! it’s what I’ve been searching for all my life!”, we excitedly exclaim to ourselves.
we want more of it; devote our lives to this place, learn how to enter it quicker and longer each time.
the others around us begin to see a change in us.
some enjoy this change and feel we are somehow ‘better’.
while others get annoyed and think we are crazy and misguided, filled of false beliefs.
..almost even offensive to their sensibilities.
we wonder if these people are worth keeping within our sphere of being.
some drop away naturally, while others cling to us and challenge us.
we view our jobs and culture in broader strokes; and of a looser glance.
our rigidity of what “should be” begins to fall away.
suddenly what seemed to not work before begins to work quicker somehow.
almost easier.. but still not quite right.
“how can this be”??
puzzled we keep going. often going back into the places where we “failed” before to try again.
“what the heck?? – it is working now? why?”
we enter into more research.
..enter into more things that resemble the old mishaps, begin to feel less heavy.

over a long period of time we begin to put the pieces together.
an image of “peace” begins to take shape.
“that’s all this is???”, we think to ourselves: “how to get along? “..inner peace?”
“..the art of allowing, ..non-judgment?? this is all it is, something this simple, how can this be??”
slightly in wonder we notice the definitions we place on things.
“I’m here.
you’re there.
it is over there.
it is it.
that is that.
we are together.
we are apart.
we are only parts…. !..” this last one shocks us.
….we begin to broaden our perspective of our selves, of the world… even more.

we look to the sky and the ground and within and almost as if thru the eyes of another: “if I’m not just me, and not just here – nor there, what, when, how, why, & where am I?”
so many more questions.
you begin to notice that such questions connect us to the world.
we study some more and learn from others that we aren’t just our bodies, nor just our thoughts.
this freaks us out, but makes sense considering the voice in our heads.
life is working out better, but there is still so much missing… much still not really completely working.

…that’s when we discover that we aren’t just in one place.
that the “WE” that we are isn’t just our personalities living in a home,
within a block,
within a town,
within a city,
within a state,
a country side,
a nation,
an environment,
a climate,
a culture,
a belief system,
a nation,
a country,
a society,
a continent,
a species,
a world,
a planetary system,
a universe,
a multi-verse,
a (k)osmos, …
then it hits us..
..that initial feeling of wholesomeness connects us to something unimaginable.
the indescribability is profound; enlightening.
we are somehow altered from the inside-out into a state of grace & poise.
we slightly know an actual “something”.. about ourselves, ..about others, about …life?
..this, … ..this begins to work.

we feel connected to everything somehow. but cannot hardly explain it.
our struggle loosens hold.
our body seems to be lighter, as if able to take in more air.
stretching seems simpler as well..
things and situations get easier and often more fun.
we start eating better, and feeling healthier.
all the people around us may resemble those that once bothered us, but these new-but-similar-people are supportive, kind, and we like them; they like us.
we have a sense of being guided.
sometimes even out of our own way.
we begin to speak from an inner truth that is even more within then the truth seemingly from what we once “thought” we were.
this is really beginning to work.
..and work wonderfully.

soon we learn to get out of the way.
..and let this “indescribable connected thing” begins to work thru us.

“oh my god, …this is what was missing!”
as if we have found the partner we’d always been searching for.
the parent we’d always been searching for.
the coworker..
..the doctor..
…we are not just feeling better, we are actually beginning to feel an odd notion of improvement.

at first we get a little bit arrogant.
..yet, we quickly learn that this is too much like before.
so we curbed that feeling.
..humbled we just begin to watch how this is playing out.
we like this.
this works.
this really works.
..and also feels marvelous.

but now what do we do with this “work”?
..also more puzzling.

we are getting what we ultimately wanted.
we’ve even begun to identify with some of what we thought we wanted, as actually something that isn’t necessary.
we even begin to give some of our stuff away.. which ironically brings in more stuff.
this really freaks us out.
“why and how does that work?” we ponder to ourselves.
so we try this again.
“WHAT THE HECK?! ..but, ..but.., I gave stuff away. And yet I get back more stuff??!!”
This is very weird, but actually feels really good.
So we continue to do this.

Within a very short time we notice that we aren’t just surviving anymore, because all of our needs are being met.
Our wants are attainable and sustainable just like our needs.
“Wow..”, feelings of relief and trust begin to overflow from within us..
we begin to cry.. but this time from a place of joy.
we feel so grateful that the feeling is so hard to contain.
“life is ..actually.. wonderful!”, we decree.
we love this, and continue to give and receive, live graciously and feel enjoyment and love.

“eureka! this, ..this really, really works..”

but then we notice others struggling..
..others in trouble..
..others.. ‘hurt’.

“crap!.. this doesn’t feel right. why do I have all this, and they have so little? it doesn’t seem fair! ..doesn’t seem correct.”
… we slightly forget how hard our upbringing was, and feel the pinch of guilt.
we get a sense to do something about this.
fix this.
help others.
all others.
…we get people together or join forces with other people of the same disposition.
this feels exciting.
…but this only half-works… just like before.

“what. the. fuck. ..?”
“now why the heck isn’t this working? why are only a small handful actually getting helped out of this bad stuff?”
.. then you remember our days of glimpsing inner peace..
.. begin to remember our days of struggle..
.. our nights of woe..
.. who and how you felt..
… we take some time to reflect and think things thru more carefully.

we notice we can only help those that want to help themselves.
and sometimes we can only assist them to the capacity in which they want to be helped.
and they may even make choices after being helped that aren’t what we’d choose.
but we have a broader perspective now.. this used to annoy us, but now we are excited for them as we help them grow.
the parent child dynamic seems to have switched.
..and with time, the dynamic all-together begins to switch off when we start to learn from those younger than us.
this seems odd at first..
..even challenges the ego..
..yet we enjoy this because all of our lives we thought age meant that we were smarter, stronger, faster, better equipped, and (w)holier.
this brings a valuable insight.
“I can still grow.”
this is the sense of freedom we’d hoped to achieve.. but still there was a few peaces/pieces missing.

we go home to ourselves and our families and our lovers and partners..
.. to our towns.. to our nations and familiarities.
“what is missing?”, we humbly ask all that is surrounding and within us. “..what could possibly still be missing?”

…. “is it true that even suffering is allowable? it true that pain and torture are wanted by some.. to be experienced and to be caused by others…? is this true?”

we think. we study. we ask more questions.
we get perplexing answers that seem counter intuitive.
we thought we knew so much. how can this be?

we reflect on the times within our own life that seemed painful and torturous.
how odd to us that we begin to understand that we were causing this to happen..
.. that much of the woe was interpretations of what was happening..
.. that much of our struggle and feelings of hopeless insecurity was… was… wasn’t really real at all.

………..our bodies fall to the floor in a slump of exhaustion and a feeling of being mixed-up.
we no longer look toward the sky and no longer have to ask from/towards within.
..”ah ha..”
this… these are the missing pieces.. the missing “PEACE’S”.

“I’m only half in this world.. this half is only co-creating with my other half. ..possibly a larger half.. in some indescribable elsewhere.”

we notice that this insight came in the form of a knowing.. kind of.. less of a question this time around.
..but, can we trust this insight?

aren’t we just like when we were kids, making yet another possible false judgment about the (k)osmos?

we wonder if we are wrong this time.. but the feeling of lacking-trust isn’t completely there this time.
so we feel more supported this time.
we feel able to handle this, this time around.

we get up and start our day again.

we begin to wonder what we needed and hoped for as a kid.
..begin to consider that maybe there are some universal needs that all things hope to implore and have within them.
so we take what we’ve come to know and start to teach, and learn from whom we are teaching.
… we finally begin to ‘share’.

no longer about giving and receiving, lack or abundance, limitation and opulence…
suddenly we calm down.

poise and grace return from within and there – as if standing before us – is our ego.
..standing outside of us, looking lost, scared, abandoned, and lonely.

“who is this ego?”, we wonder to ourselves.
“where does it come from and what does it want?”
… it looks tired and sad, disgruntled and fidgety, .. itchy and unfulfilled…
we know we cannot help it beyond its capacity to want to help itself.
we know it wants it’s struggle and it’s torture,…

“oh my… this ego isn’t real at all… it’s an image cause by… by… caused by MY FEAR…”
“HUUUUH!”… as if the wind is knocked-out of us, our mouth opens and then we see something we never thought we could see.

“… if life energy comes from the same place and is in all things, and animates all things in the same way via many different formations based on similar physical laws that bound a certain place of being, ..and thus.., forms all the unique intelligences of the (k)osmos, ..then, that would be mean that .. and all things being one.. that… ..and I’m not just the slice from it’s whole, because even a slice is still….”

we are now blown away.. (as we say)

we question to ourselves, “So.., is this heaven?’s a term that many people throw around.
“ this Valhalla, Nirvana.. because now that this fear is gone, nothing seems that hellish anymore..”

now life gets really, really, really good.
we now understand the puzzle’s teachings.
we welcome back the mysteries, and we relish within the uncertainties just like when we were excited kids.

we feel we are about to blossom like a budding tree.
..about to produce many new leaves and flowers.

we don’t just get it now, because we got it, … because we’ve always had it..
… the whole time.



Namaste / Good Tidings
Cordell Klier

I've been thru a ton..

Diligence of Info.
Short & To The Point.

How did I survive the Gambit?

It’s tough for me not to write like I think. Talk like I think. Or write like I talk.
I either get abstract & lofty, poetic & courageous, or I get long-winded & get challenging.

But make no mistake about it, I most certainly walk what I talk.

…I’m not like most.

This used to upset me. ..Being unique I mean. I used to feel rather isolated.

I’d tend to always feel this need to be contrary to the flow of those around me as a way to feel less isolated?? Kind like pushing people away before they did it to me. Never really been sure why I did that until I did a self-inventory back in my early thirties.

This strange isolation sometimes gave me one hell of a perspective. Really though, it just plain left me alone with my thoughts a lot.. ..fervently lending a staircase with me eventually descending into a form of macabre loneliness. It was there that I found most of my insights about (what I thought was) the world early on. But, as I grew up, many of those insights were actually about pain, glory, hope, constriction, sovereignty, lust, and transgression. ..Yes.. ..I had a lot of trouble as a young adult. Fitting in was never an option I’d even considered.

Then, I grew the f*** up.

Cuz life isn’t as dank as I was convinced that it was. Lying to people to hide my true benevolent nature wasn’t what is seemed cracked up to be anymore. Hiding myself never did anything but get me into situations with a lot of angry, lost, unmotivated, or overly motivated.. unconscious jerks.

Back then… I was the people that surrounded me into a forced isolation: I was not all that different then them. Just as lost. Just as secretly frightened and worried.

Now, `eh…not so much. Frightened and worried I mean. I’m more soul-leveled now. Less trying to rationalize my head into things it will never even try to quantify. Aka: matters of the heart, health of the body beyond my taste buds, etc.

How I do this thing called “Life” now is a very different story.
Thank god! Cuz had I continued down that crusty path I would have become the people I most loathed. .. Which is how I eventually changed my life. I stopped loathing and started to feel grateful.

Funny how that works… 😉

How did I start to do this? How did I get to starting to do this?

Well, I do this now by getting out of my own way. Back when I was learning to hone this skill, I just let life kick my ass around. Thanks to all the turmoil I put myself through I’ve been luckily clued back in on the fact(s) that “there is something awesome behind ‘IT’ ‘ALL'”. That is, if ya just take a breath and get out of the way long enough in order to get a minuscule glimpse of it.

Like a moron standing in my own shadow, I was missing my own light.


My experiences in underground music left me with a lot of puzzling evidence about how things might be.. say, if you were to compact all-of-it into the lost-bag of tricks that it all ended up being for me. Heavy & cumbersome.. That bag-O-tricks is still strapped to the wandering hate-filled blackmetal punks covered in old-school Les Legions Noir patches..scurrying the internet for pirated-versions of the new Brighter Death Now disc, or some obscure old Belketre demo… and… Although I once understood that calling, now.. it just seems bloody tiring.

So, Why am I writing about all this?

Hard to say really…

In my heart there most certainly is still a connected to that quotient of life/music. Or, as I’ve dubbed it now, the wanna-be walking romantic-dead. occasionally I do want to kick back to some old Der Blutarsch, or Kvist, or Order Equilibrio’s first CMI release.. I guess I still enjoy the music’s spirit & atmosphere mainly. Not ever the intentions though.

I gotta be frank here.., the intention behind underground music has always made me laugh.. (especially while I was releasing music).. but boy those laughs sure suckered my ass in for 20 some years.

Don;t get me wrong though, I did learn a hell of a lot about what’s actually scary within this world. As well as how some of the nicest & generous people make some of the darkest music. I can also assure of this much: the people in blackmetal, death industrial, or occult punk are nothing to be afraid of. Seriously, I know the word satanist scares most folks a bit.. but really.. it’s a pretty damn benign. In fact, I’d honestly say that 90% of them are just using that music/art as an outlet to get over poverty-thinking, childhood community oppression while desperately trying to feel better about the world they know could exist, as well as hoping to get laid once in a while.

What’s really scary about the world isn’t the music most of those people make. So goes the same about any of the shenanigans of Lady Gaga for that matter.. or all this crud about Jay-Z being of the Illuminati… I studied that stuff for 20+ years, the crap people are throwing around the net now-a-days is pretty laughable.


Then, after all that dark ambient, noise, & BM nonsense in the 90’s, it was onto another side of the unconventional music spectrum. That being, Click & Glitch music. ..which lead me right into the heart of all things legitimately pretensions and cruelly elitist. 10 years of soundart and I went right back to the horrifically poorly Photoshop-ed covers of new-age music. Why cuz the people are waaaaay nicer… and actually have enough money to get a lunch.

And ya know.. it fuckin’ feels great. Soundart was as trite as blackmetal and neofolk. Just often with better visual art, and more appropriate product placement.

30 years of listening to all of that stuff, added to 20 years of publishing the music within these quadrants of life/music have taught me a valuable lesson:

Eventually You Will Leave All That Crap Behind.

..and it will feel wonderful.

……..It’s odd when your heart makes a choice that involuntarily vibes against your head in a obtuse way. Almost making you wanna throw up corpse-paint and upside-down-crosses as reminder of your old crooked past. (BTW those are still christian crosses – nothing evil about them).. and even though I know better now, knew better than (satanism has always made me crack up for how dumb it is), and have vigorously looked at my history of choices with perplexed-disdain, I have to say, that I’ve been making the right choices all along.

When I look back I kinda get this weird connection to something written by Milton.. I literally walked thru hell to find heaven. How simple.

For had I not gone thru all that I would have never gotten good at design work, advertising, marketing, PR, public relations, how to & how not to run a business, fashion, social etiquette, nor studied my ass off about what is honestly effective in this world. …Nor would I have learned how to deal with people’s crooked emotions, know what to listen to and what to finally get them to stop reiterating about their misery. I’d not have learned how to weather the storms of human-drama. So in many ways, my time in underground music was like going to boot-camp, then getting shipped off to war, damn near getting killed, and now I’m finally back on friendly soil looking at the world with a new found appreciation.

For me back then..
…I’d always looked at religion as having damaged this world on so many levels I couldn’t even begin to blog about it today. So really… why bother?

…Now, I just look at them all like I would the bands I used to promote, the families I’ve served, the Corporations I’ve branded, the Gangs I’ve avoided, the Clicks of Friends I endured, or all the Holistic Food Co-Ops that I’m enjoying as a grown adult. All of which are formed by individuals. Not all of them act like individuals. Some of them need the assist of that micro-whole. Some need to get the heck out of their own way.

..I guess I can actually say, I get it now.

But what I also get now is that “SPIRIT” is in ALL THINGS, PLACES, & most definitely, PEOPLE.

Spirit, or Source, or (K)osmos, or The Divine Spark, or Love Energy, or Tao (on some level or another) ..however you wanna term the mystery ‘it’.. ..makes a hell of a lot more sense BEING AROUND, then say not around. Cuz when ya honestly start looking at what works in this physical (and non-physical) universe, then say that of pretending the big “G” is this uber fascist jerk enjoying spinning-you-around-a-ferris-wheel-of-monotonous-torment which is why we have such beautiful flowers in Minnesota. ???

kinda silly huh.. least I tend to think so.

Becoming re-acquainted with the mysterious ‘it’ of all things; PLUS, re-learning to reconnect to the “BIGG-NESS” of my small-ness; just simply feels healthier.


I guess I’m writing this for myself. Much of what I write is to help others. Maybe this is remind myself that I’ve never left my totality no matter how many times I explored other options. Maybe you’ve had similar experiences in your life. Maybe what I went and did in my past adventures will help you with your current adventures.

So if you need any advice on how to deal with the thickness, book a session with me.

Eitherway.. I’m off to spend time with my partner…giggle..

Namaste / Good Tidings
Cordell Klier


OMG! IT'S...

Praise feels good.

But the best that we are isn’t dependent on the thoughts of another. Nor the publicity we output. Nor independently from those that shout our name from across the restaurant with glee.

Although this feels nice, this isn’t the be-all-end-all to happiness, nor maintaining happiness. Why? Cuz you gotta feel it, know it, be it, and receive it, from you first.

Success is the nature of our doing that is consistent in creating (for ourselves) an internal feeling of success that produces (with ease) the external reminders of that certain quality of success (via the money, love, appreciation, gratitude, livelihood, etc.) that surround you.

I can go on for days about how I know some pretty remarkable people that are quite successful at what they do financially, yet come home to feel like shit for the rest of the night. Also know a bunch of folks that are medal-ed with really glowing critical reviews yet they feel lousy about their weight, skin, or how something is worn on their body shape.

Here’s a tip to my friends:
Yes, revel in the compliments. Yet don’t let it be your only source of motivation.
As long as you compare yourself with another, via the insult or praise from an on looker, …well, to put it plainly, you are giving away all your personal power.

So to my friends:


If you cannot love yourself first for whom you are now, in those moments away from the press and the media story, then it’s gonna be damn near impossible to love anything, nor anyone else beyond you. Why? Physics.

How can you possibly give something you FEEL you don’t have?
[Key word in that sentence is FEEL]

As long as you FEEL like you don’t have it to give, you are going to generate a lack there of to give. Same with getting.

Lucky for all of us, LOVE is not in any short supply. ..Actually, you cannot even run out of love if you tried. It is supporting you at all times & in all places.. Ain’t that a relief.

Being told you are awesome is great and you should lavish in some of it for certain, but if you are going home thinking that people are snowballed and you aren’t as great as they say you are.. then it’s time to do some self-work first….get back to that point in which your drive to be amazing was once generated from. Be in that place now.

Oh yes, it is still there. That’s why you are getting all those warm-fuzzies from the public. Your intention is working! be grateful! Have fun with it. Just don’t turn it off when you are alone – what’s the point in that?



The cool thing about life is that a lot of best-practices can apply to damn near everything. There is a system that works on all levels. And that system starts with loving yourself first. No joke.

Not arrogance. Not ego-stroking 24/7. These are fleeting and are like drinking to get courage… never lasts, ..ends in a hang-over. It’s an illusion.

Good, clean, honest resounding self-kindness, self-care, self-gratitude, self… I’m sure you get the idea.. is where you keep that good feeling a-flowing.

You can be great at it all.

…Seriously, you really can.

Just do yourself a huge favor and keep those finely-tuned engines working from within first. And feel good about the attention, sure, but remind yourself to stay humble while feeling it at home as well. I mean, ain’t that why you wanted to do this in the first place?

Keep your attention on what is keeping you a success. Be your biggest rave-reviewing-critic when you are at home with the kids, and taking car of the dogs. No sense in using praise as a way to get high to avoid the daily dredge… then crashin-&-burnin needin another fix from the Paparazzi.

Kill your fear of that daily dredge with a healthy dose of self-care. Consider volunteering somewhere. I mean heck, think about how much publicity you can wrangle up just by volunteering at a homeless-shelter?

Just a thought.

Namaste / Good Tidings
Cordell Klier